


Memories of the past (Can still haunt us today)

by That1Gay_friend



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Angst, Catra (She-Ra) Leaves the Horde, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse in general, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Slow To Update, im sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:34:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24873889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That1Gay_friend/pseuds/That1Gay_friend
Summary: Shadow Weaver is a bitch, Adora puts on a brave face, Catra is trying to work past not knowing the truth.Catra is slightly pissedThis isn't really canon but Catradora is together and trying to understand each other again.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 73





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what I'm doing, I tried making this a one-shot but it seemed really long, so there might be more chapters.

¨You don't have to go in there.¨

That was all she said. She just didn't know if she was talking to Catra or herself.

Reliving these memories had its perks.

Remembering the fun times they had together even when they were up to no good. But some memories weren´t worth reliving.

She thinks this one isn't worth it because Adora remembers that this when it all started.

They were in another shared memory, Adora was about 10 or 11, Catra was 9 or 10. They were running around playing before stopping right in front of Shadow Weaver's room. She remembers how they had decided to go in there and hide when they had heard Shadow Weaver just down the hall. She remembers when Shadow Weaver entered her room nearly faint when she took off her mask and looked directly at the children and yelled.

How she forced Catra to stay in place and punished her, only her.

¨What do you think you're doing in here?¨

She remembers how Catra wasn't touching the floor and was forced to turn towards the sorceress. She knew that Catra would've been trembling if she wasn't under Shadow Weaver´s control.

¨W-we were just playing.¨

She remembers how even though Shadow Weaver slipped her mask back on, how her eyes were filled with hatred and disgust. How she slouched in front of the younger girl and practically cut off her explanation.

¨You insolent child. I´ve expected such disgraceful behavior from you. But I will NOT allow you to drag down Adora as well.¨

She remembered how she felt like Shadow Weaver was about to hurt Catra, how she had this weird feeling begin to bubble inside her when she solely blamed Catra for what they both had done.

¨Shadow Weaver, it wasn't her fault, it was my idea too.¨

She wanted to say that it was just her idea, but she knew the older woman wouldn't have listened. But it wouldn't have mattered what she said, her words fell onto deaf ears. Shadow weaver ignored her and raised her voice at her best friend.

¨You have never been anything more than a nuisance to me. I´ve kept you around this long ONLY because Adora was fond of you. But if you EVER do anything to jeopardize her future, I will dispose of you myself. Do you understand?¨

Adora wanted to stop this, she tried to. Running in between Catra and Shadow Weaver as if to say ¨Whatever you do to her you have to do to me too. This was more my fault than hers.¨She wanted to protect catra. That's not how it played out though, she knew she was going to get pushed away again.

¨Please, stop.¨

To her slight surprise, all the older woman did was groan and walk towards the black garnet, but she noticed Catra still wasn't touching the floor, she was still held in place. Adora ran towards the other woman and practically pleaded.

¨She didn't mean to.¨

And instead of Shadow Weaver lashing out at her, like she did Catra, Adora saw how she had kinder eyes towards her, her posture was less tense and she had a softer voice when speaking to her.

¨Adora, you must do a better job of keeping her under control.¨

Adora didn't dare look away when she heard a grunt coming from Catra, she knew Shadow Weaver had let go of her hold on the younger girl. The older woman placed her hand under Adora's chin after tucking a hair in place. Adora had watched her hand as she moved before looking back at her. Shadow Weaver was still looking at her but had decided to address Catra first before saying anything else.

¨Catra, follow this one simple task, go to the barracks, and stay there. I need to have a conversation with Adora. Alone. ¨

Adora remembers glancing at catra for a split second and seeing her glance right back. She tried to give her friend a small, reassuring smile to indicate everything would be okay until she got back. She wouldn't show her that she was scared, she had to be brave so that Catra wouldn't get in trouble. With a slight nod from the younger girl, Catra ran down the hall just as the door had closed.

She felt Shadow Weaver lift her chin and held her there. Her feet still on the floor, and her body still able to move around, but she knew better than to dare move away from the older woman. She didn't take a step out of place, kept her shoulders squared, her back straight.

¨Adora, you should know better than to let her run around. You give her too much freedom. She will lead you to your demise if you continue to do so. You don't want that, do you?¨

¨No, Shadow Weaver.¨

Adora felt Shadow Weaver place her hand on the side of her face, and rub her cheek.

¨You are special, Adora, you have so much potential. I can feel it.¨

At those words, the older Adora knew what was about to happen. Shadow Weaver would call her special, and all kinds of other sweet names while she placed her hands on the girl's waist and started to roll up her shirt and throw away her pants. 

Adora knew that she was treated differently from the others by Shadow Weaver. She had always known. She knew the sorceress didn't touch any of the others like this. She knew just how _special_ she was to shadow weaver. And she hated that she knew she couldn't say anything when it always happened. How could she when this was the person she reported to.

Before Adora knew the system was glitching again, and the memory was finally gone. She had practically forgotten that it was just a simulation made from the citadel. It felt more real than she thought it would. But that didn't mean that she didn't still remember that what happened was real.

It didn't mean that the tears she felt run down her cheek weren't real.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> follow up from the last chapter, plus a time skip. Let´s see how this goes, yeah?

Adora was now hanging off the edge of a platform, she couldn’t really find a way up and secretly prayed Catra was still around somewhere to help her. Just as the robotic spiders were about to attack again, she heard glass shatter and grunts coming from over the edge. The spiders were gone and Catra appeared with her sword in hand.

¨Hey, Adora¨  
The relief on the blonde's face was clear, and she seemed happy to see the other woman. Most likely because she was hoping Catra would assist her.

¨Catra, help me. Please ¨

But the way Catra looked gave off the impression that she had lost all care in the world. She glanced at the sword in her hand before looking down for a split second.  
¨This thing wouldn´t work for me if I tried, would it? It only works for you¨ The feline dragged a clawed finger against the edge of the weapon and began to frown. ¨Then again, you’re special. That´s what Shadow Weaver always said.¨

There´s that word again.

_Special._

Adora had slightly winced when Catra had said it. Ever since that day and the days similar to it, she had come to hate that word when chosen to describe her. In reality, Adora thought there was nothing special about her, she was a mess, A broken object that couldn’t be fixed. After almost 8 years of being called ¨Special¨ and ¨Shadow Weaver´s favorite¨, it left a sour taste in her mouth.

Catra had begun to sit near the edge, just laying there, staring at Adora as she hung for her life like this was normal. Then again when your best friend becomes your sworn enemy and all you do is fight against each other for months on end, maybe Catra really was done with her.

¨It all makes sense now. You´ve always been the one holding me back. You wanted me to think that I needed you all those years.¨

The blonde was confused and slightly hurt. Had she really made Catra feel this way, All she wanted to do was protect, to love her, but even then it wasn’t enough. She hoped that Shadow Weaver never did to Catra what she did to her, and if she was wrong she would never forgive herself if she let the sorceress touch her ex-best friend.

¨You wanted me to feel weak. Every hero needs a sidekick, right?¨

Adora began to shake her head. ¨Catra no, that’s not how it was.¨ But the feline paid no mind to her words. She laughed as if what she said was a joke.

To her, maybe it was.

¨The sad thing is, I spent all this time hoping you´d come back. When really, you leaving was the best thing that _ever_ happened to me.¨  
Catra had looked down at her with an evil grin. She brushed the sword against the edge a little, ripping a small piece of the slime she was holding onto. Adora´s eyes watered as her heart sunk to her stomach.

¨Catra, please don´t do this. I never meant to make you feel like this, I was trying to protect you.¨ _from the hatred that they felt, from how corrupted the Horde was, from her._

But the brunette didn’t listen, she was in her own little world. To her, Adora was the cause of all the pain she felt in her life, the humiliation she dealt with.  
¨You know, I wonder what would’ve happened if I had just gotten rid of you sooner. ¨She sliced the rest of the way, but before Adora could fall, possibly to her death, she grabbed onto the edge.

  
¨Catra I never meant to make you feel like you were second best. Please don’t do this, Catra I beg of you, please!¨ _I love you just the way you are, you were never a mistake to me._

Catra had glanced behind her as she saw the citadel looked like it was slowly disintegrating. She looked at the sword in her hand before tossing it off the edge, She knew Adora couldn’t hold on for long. _There was a possibility she was going to die. Guess it´ll finally be over._

Just before she walked off Adora thought she saw sadness in her heterochromatic eyes.

¨Bye, Adora. I really am going to miss you.¨

Adora looked down as the tears began to run down her face, her voice not even above a whisper. ¨Catra, please¨ _I need you._

_-_

_-_

_-_

Adora doesn’t remember how she got out of there, or how she had gotten the sword for that matter. All she knew was that she had gotten back to Bright Moon in one piece. Adora practically ran on autopilot for a year and a half after what happened. With in the first few weeks of being back, she slowly started avoiding Glimmer and Bow and started training by herself in the whispering woods. 

Bow and Glimmer had obviously noticed the change at first when she came back but had decided to stop asking questions about 3 months after she refused to say anything about what happened. The other princesses had also noticed but decided not to push her on the subject.

She knew that they were all concerned with her well being but Adora just didn’t want to talk about what happened, or anything else for that matter.

As of right now, Bow, Glimmer, And Mermista had gone to Salineas to investigate what was going on, the guards in Salineas had captured a Horde soldier and thought it needed their immediate attention. They had decided that since it wasn’t implied that the soldier was in any way hostile or that there were more than just the one, that Adora could sit this one out.

It was to be considered a routine check anyway, so there would be nothing out of the ordinary and if they were lucky the soldier would tell them what the Horde was planning.

When they arrived at the holding cells they expected just a regular soldier. To their surprise, a certain feline was sitting on a chair waiting for them with her arms crossed and her ears lowered. She looked at the three people in front of her with a straight face as she stood up and walked towards the bars.

Bow had reached for his arrows as soon as he saw her, glimmer went into a fighting stance and Mermista pointed her trident to the occupant in the cell.

¨What are you doing here, Horde scum?¨

Catra had glanced around them and had frowned when she noticed Adora wasn’t with them.

¨No She-ra? That´s a first, I thought you guys did everything with Adora.¨ Her tail swiped slowly at the ground. _She didn’t actually die….did she?_

A wave of guilt washed over Catra as she remembered the last time she had saw the blonde. What she did was unforgivable but she had at least hoped Adora was still around so that she could apologize.

¨Answer the question, Catra.¨

The magicat sighed as she knelt to the grown with her ears tucked in and her tail laying behind her.

¨I came here unarmed and willingly defected from the Horde. I realize now that everything I have done was wrong, and I want to apologize for my actions against all of you. I understand that you may not believe what I am about to say and may even think that I´m lying but ….I want to join the Rebellion.¨

-

-

-

Adora was under the waterfall that was behind the castle. She had told the others she wanted to be alone for a while and if they needed her, she would be there. The bottom of the waterfall ended in a pond. Adora had changed into her chest bindings and shorts and sat on a rock right under the water with her hair down.

She had been there for a few hours wanting to clear her head a bit after the nightmare she had when she took a nap earlier that day. 

No matter how far away she was Shadow Weaver still got to her in some way, shape, or form. Even though it was a dream, she didn’t know if it was a memory from years ago, back when she was a cadet. She could still feel her hands on her body, she can still hear the words said to her.

_My special little Adora._

It made her sick, she wanted the feeling to go away but knew it wouldn’t, it never did.

Being under the waterfall did help in a way though. It was quiet besides the sound of rushing water that surrounded her body. It made her feel like she was apart of nature, and maybe even slightly relaxed. 

That was until she felt someone grab her shoulder.

¨ Ador- WOAH!¨

Before she realized what happened, Adora gasped as her reflexes kicked in and grabbed the person´s arm right before throwing them into the pond. The blonde went into a defensive stand before whoever it was that grabbed her came out of the water. It took a second for them to come back up but when they did Adora realized she had just thrown Bow into the water. Adora´s eyes widen as she relaxed and covered her mouth with her hands.

¨Oh my god, Bow! I´m so sorry are you okay?¨ Bow swam back to where Adora was shaking his head as he grinned.

¨It´s fine Adora, I´m okay. I thought you heard me when I had called you from on the hill.¨

Bow chuckled as Adora rubbed the back of her neck embarrassed.

¨I´m sorry Bow, I was lost in thought. Is everything okay, I Thought you Glimmer and Mermista were in Salineas.¨

As if mentioning the said mission Bow´s expression changed to a serious one.

¨That´s actually why I’m here….There´s something that you have to see.¨

-

-

-

Once they were in the castle and Adora was fully dressed and had her sword attached to her arm, Bow escorted her to the Conference room. They hadn’t discussed much while they were on their way and Adora was still confused.

¨So what´s going on? Did something bad happen? Are Glimmer and Mermista okay?¨

Just before they entered the room, Bow had turned towards her and placed his hands on Adora´s shoulders and gave her a reassuring smile.

¨Adora, relax. Glimmer and Mermista are fine, the mission went great. However, there was some unexpected turn of events and we were hoping that you could help with them.¨

The blonde had nodded her head as he let go of her.

¨Okay, I can try my best.¨

Bow nodded his head once before opening the door, letting Adora walk through and see everyone looking back at her. ¨So, what´s the problem?¨

Hearing the door close behind her Adora saw Bow standing there looking uncomfortably awkward scratching the back of his head. In fact, everyone looked uncomfortable.

¨What happened?¨

Glimmer had glanced towards the blonde before taking a deep breath and nodding towards the other princesses who, Adora just now notice were huddled together. The princesses had spread apart bit by bit until she noticed an extra person in the room.

a person she didn´t want to see.

¨...Hey, Adora.¨


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to some unforeseen circumstances and very long ass move it took me more than 2 weeks to upload this chapter and another 3 days to rewrite the chapter because somehow half of what I wrote got deleted, I really do apologize for the delay but I hope you guys like it.

¨….Hey, Adora.¨

Rage.

That was the first thing Adora felt when she saw Catra standing near the back wall of the conference room, followed by surprise and even a little bit of sadness, but her anger had pushed her other emotions aside and got the better of her. 

Before anybody had time to react, Adora walked towards the girl and slammed her into the wall right before grabbing at Catra´s shirt. She transformed her sword from the armband on her left forearm to its original form and pointed it directly at the feline´s throat.

¨What in the _hell_ is she doing here?¨ 

Everyone's eyes stared in shock at the blonde as she glared at the younger woman in front of her. Everyone who knew Adora knew that she wasn’t very big on cursing. Sure she would say them here and there but she never really directed it towards other people much. To say that Adora was hurt was an understatement. She didn’t see any reason for Catra to be in Bright Moon unless it was to try and concur it, but there weren't any other soldiers around and if Catra was here for a fight the others would have already attacked her.

It was clear to the others that whatever had happened a year ago in the Whispering Woods had something to do with Catra. Everyone knew that usually when Catra was the cause of anything Adora would be the first to react in any way but she has never been too hostile. This was a completely different reaction than what Adora has ever given towards the girl.

Catra´s ears flattened to her head as her eyes widened at the woman in front of her. Adora never cursed at her, not even when they had to fight against each other for all those months before they met up at the citadel. She practically heard the hatred dripping off of Adora’s words when she spoke them, but she could never blame the blonde for her reaction. After everything she's done, Catra felt like she deserved it.

¨Adora, I-¨ Catra gasped as Adora pointed her sword into her throat, making a small line of blood flow from where the weapon made contact. The blonde was practically seething. Out of all the places, why here? Out of all the times, why now? _Why show up here after the pain she´s caused me, the pains she´s caused everyone._

¨I wasn´t talking to you.¨ 

At this point, Bow had stepped out of the crowd to try and negotiate with Adora before things got deadlier than they already were. Putting his hands up indicating that he wasn’t a threat, he slightly shuffled to where they stood.

¨Adora, please, we know how bad this looks but Catra isn’t the enemy right now. This is what we wanted to talk about. When Glimmer, Mermista, and I went to Salineas Catra was there in a holding cell. She didn´t have any weapons on her and she didn’t harm any of the guards. She willingly went with the guards and surrendered _._ ¨

Adora had turned her head to see both Princesses in question confirm what was being said. The blonde had relaxed a little but kept her sword at the younger woman’s neck. Glimmer then walked over next to Adora in the same manner as Bow and slowly lowered Adora´s arm away from the Feline´s throat. 

¨We know that there isn´t any reason why we should trust Catra right now, but she left the Horde. She even apologized to all of us, individually, for what she´s done right before you got here and has said that she would be willing to try and help us out around here as best as she can. And we, as a group, think that it would probably be best if she stayed here anyway, she has nowhere to go and I know this isn’t exactly the same as how it was with you when you first came here, but you and Catra both came from the same place and have had some of the same experiences. ¨

Adora continued to glare at Catra as she transformed her sword back into the armbrace on her forearm. ¨Just because we came from the same place doesn´t mean anything,¨ _I’m not the one that left the only person I ever cared for to die when I had the chance to save her._ She then turned to face Glimmer. ¨I don’t see why you’re considering this, I thought you hated her.¨ 

The future queen looked at the feline that had her head down and her arms behind her back.¨It´s only a _very_ strong dislike, plus mom thinks that if we help her to try and get used to the place and with enough time, Catra could fit right in with the rest of us here, so maybe we should give her a chance?¨

Adora sighed as she crossed her arms. In reality, Adora knew she couldn't blame Catra for everything she's done. The Horde had manipulated her and made her second guess herself at everything she's done ever since they were kids. The majority of what's been done had simply been just because of the Horde. Aside from the other aspects, Catra was just a puppet being used by them. But that didn’t mean she would just forget about the things that she willingly did on her own accord.

Adora glanced at everyone before turning to address the princess right next to her.¨Whatever you want to do is what we go with. If you want her to stay then fine, whatever you say goes.¨ 

Glimmer nodded her head before addressing everyone. ¨Then it’s settled. Catra will stay and help out with the rebellion as a valued ally.¨ Everyone besides Adora nodded in agreement on the decision just made. With that over and done with everyone went to do their separate duties and that left Glimmer with only one last question.

Where were they going to put Catra?

-

-

-

A few hours had passed and Adora had been outside training ever since the meeting ended. She figured it was the best way to work out her emotions without having to talk about them. Once she noticed the sun was setting she returned back to the castle and took a shower before going to her room and getting ready for bed. Right as she was about to put a tank top on, there was a knock at the door.

¨Adora, do you have a minute?¨

The blonde was instantly confused once she heard Glimmer’s voice. Why didn’t she just teleport in like usual? After laying her sword on the table and the top she was about to wear onto her bed Adora walked to the door and opened it without a second that. It was just Glimmer and she´s seen the blonde without a shirt on a few times so it was fine. 

What Adora didn´t expect was for Catra to be standing right behind the shorter girl. The blonde had glanced at her for a split second before looking at the future queen. Catra had a small bandage where Adora had pressed her sword earlier. The blonde didn’t like how she kind of felt guilty for harming the younger girl. Adora stepped aside from the door to indicate for them to come inside. Once they walked in she closed the door and turned around to look at Glimmer.

¨What’s going on Glimmer?¨

The princess had sighed as she thought back to an earlier conversation with her mother.

¨There is an issue regarding the rooms. Apparently, there aren’t enough rooms for everyone to have there own and considering how many people now stay here I’m not at all that surprised that this happened. And due to the shortage in space, I was thinking that since you guys were bunkmates at the horde, that you wouldn’t mind sharing a room with Catra. With everything that’s been going on, we don’t really have much of a choice on everyone sharing. All of the guards are required to have their own rooms so that’s out of the question, Bow is sharing with me, Seahawk is sharing with Mermista, Frosta kinda has ice everywhere and claims it would be an invasion in her personal space and Perfuma has plants everywhere in her room and refuses to move them out. Which leaves our new recruit with nowhere to stay.¨

Of course this was going to happen. The one time Adora doesn’t want to be near Catra and she has to share a room with her. The world just loved playing with her emotions today. Adora sighed as she crossed her arms and sat on her bed.

¨Fine she can stay here. There’s more than enough room and neither of us takes up that much space anyway.¨ Glimmer smiled as she clapped her hands together. ¨That is perfect, now that this has been situated, I will see the both of you later, bye.¨

And with that, the princess transported out of the room to god knows where. Now there was silence. Almost to much silence, not to mention the tension was already high and it was becoming increasingly more awkward. Adora had turned her head to the other occupant of the room. As if making a split decision Catra was about to speak right before Adora’s voice seemed to have become loud and the frown on her face was as clear as day, visible for Catra to see.

¨No. I don’t want to hear anything from you right now. You may be part of the Alliance now but let me make one thing perfectly clear. If you’re faking this in any way, if you slip up, step one foot out of line, a scratch on your neck will be the least of your worries.¨

Adora stood up and grabbed the forgotten tank top and slipped it on before grabbing two blankets and a pillow from off her bed and handing them to Cara.

¨Sleep on the floor or the foot of the bed I don’t care, just don’t touch me.¨ She walked towards the light switch and turned it off before laying in bed and facing away from the feline.

Catra stood there for a split second before mumbling a thank you and laying on the floor on the other side of the room away from Adora. Catra knew that Adora had every right to be pissed at her, she was just thankful that her ex-best friend wasn’t dead.


	4. A/N

So sadly I don't have the 4th chapter done quite yet and I haven´t really had the motivation to write at the moment. However, I am going to try and continue to write this fic as much as I can with the way that I have been feeling. It might take a while but I do plan to try and make updates as much as possible even with my writer´s block. I appreciate everyone that has been reading so far and hope that you cant be patient with me.

**Author's Note:**

> I´m sorry if this doesn't make sense, its 3 in the morning and for some reason, my mind decided writing this was a good idea.  
> constructive criticism is welcome of course.


End file.
